what is it with giant penises always finding me
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
