I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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