now i know why i became what i already was.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
