But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
