I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
