dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
