I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I think my moral compass just broke
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
