shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
