Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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