I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
