i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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