? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
