First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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