If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
