is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
