Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
