Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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