Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
