THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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