i just google imaged poop.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
