I think my vagina is haunted
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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