I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
