i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
