This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
