you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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