i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
you never un-have a 4some
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
