I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
