Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
