Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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