you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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