Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
