all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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