Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
