His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
