I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize
