then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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