Don't make out with my wife yet
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
