We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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