It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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