"it" just moved
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
