Reggie can tackle my bush.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
