don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Even the bartender felt bad for me
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
