it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
