thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
