it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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