I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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