He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
How many fucks given?
0.12846
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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