sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We were destined to go to rehab together
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
