So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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