What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
