Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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